Gun-toting congressman is right. He's no Gabby Giffords

Here's a satirical look at an event that made news this weekend.First-term US Rep. Ralph Norman, R-So...

Posted: Apr 9, 2018 11:44 AM
Updated: Apr 9, 2018 11:44 AM

Here's a satirical look at an event that made news this weekend.

First-term US Rep. Ralph Norman, R-South Carolina, is a tough, vigilant and well-prepared guardian of public security, which he recently demonstrated by pulling out his loaded handgun at a "coffee with constituents" meeting at the Rock Hill Diner in his home district.

He slapped the .38-caliber Smith & Wesson on the table to let the folks in the restaurant know that they were safe from terrorists, active shooters, clumsy busboys and anyone trying to skip out on the lunch tab, assuring them that he would be able to protect them because of his gun.

"Given the scenario that if someone had walked into that diner and began to fire a weapon, I told them I would be able to defend myself and them as well," he said.

"I'm not going to be a Gabby Giffords," explained the heroic and manly Red Stater, comparing himself to the timorous female Democrat from a purple district in Arizona, who had unwisely allowed herself to be shot in the head without returning fire.

And can there be any doubt that Norman would have been able to respond boldly to the shooting, which occurred at a "Congress on the Corner" event outside a Tucson grocery store? Surely he would have been able to draw his pistol, release the safety, assume a SWAT stance, take dead aim and plug the mentally-disturbed shooter, even after taking a bullet himself.

After all, Norman has a South Carolina concealed weapons permit, which means, at the very least, that he obtained it after a rigorous training program -- covering storage practices, liability rules and concealment techniques, upon payment of a $50 fee -- that fully readied him to exchange fire with an assassin packing a 9mm pistol with a 33-round magazine, who was shooting indiscriminately into a crowd. The 19 people hit and six killed that day in 2011 have only themselves to blame for not being as well-armed and well-trained as Norman, who may have once fired as many as 50 rounds at stationary targets to obtain his South Carolina permit.

"I don't mind dying, but whoever shoots me better shoot well, or I'm shooting back," Norman told a local newspaper, drawing on his courageous background in the real estate business he inherited from his father. Next to military or law enforcement experience, which Norman must have absent-mindedly neglected to include in his official biography, a career in property development is easily the best possible preparation for combat in crisis conditions. If you are locked and loaded, and don't mind dying, then the York County Home Builders Association is the right place for you.

It would be absolutely thrilling to see Norman calmly stand his ground amid flying bullets, while taking unerring aim at a rampaging gunman. No duck and cover for him, and no chance that he would end up hitting a cowering bystander. There could be just one question: Would he shoot to kill? Or would he be satisfied by only winging his unfortunate foe? It's an election year, so I'm betting that Norman will come out staunchly in favor of using lethal force at the slightest hint of trouble.

"Mental health, and more importantly, a lack of morality, is the driving force behind this epidemic," Norman told CNN. And having served in the South Carolina legislature for ten years, he can proudly point to his state's standing as 44th in the Union in per capita mental health spending -- while rapidly closing in on 43rd, at less than three bucks per year behind Louisiana.

Following the latest school shooting, Giffords called on Congress to "stand up to the gun lobby and take action to make our communities safer." Norman knows better. "I'm tired of the NRA being blamed," he said. And he is right. What we really need for the schools would be some guns on the cafeteria tables.

So, yes, Ralph Norman got things exactly right. He is no Gabby Giffords.

Indiana Coronavirus Cases

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Cases: 318894

Reported Deaths: 5561
CountyCasesDeaths
Marion43391855
Lake27599462
Allen18363299
Elkhart17474226
St. Joseph17071234
Hamilton13376169
Vanderburgh9839121
Tippecanoe880629
Porter844886
Johnson6556169
Hendricks6267158
Vigo618187
Monroe542850
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Madison5153122
Delaware5014103
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Warrick329872
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Bartholomew323563
Wayne318074
Marshall308146
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Grant282050
Noble261546
Hancock260355
Henry252837
Boone248754
Dubois242931
Dearborn222631
Jackson222534
Morgan215543
Knox189720
Shelby189556
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Randolph126121
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Scott112320
Greene104653
Jay100713
Sullivan99216
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Spencer8588
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Washington7837
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Ohio2337
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Ohio Coronavirus Cases

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Cases: 382743

Reported Deaths: 6274
CountyCasesDeaths
Franklin51161671
Cuyahoga37222743
Hamilton30493372
Montgomery20518236
Butler15199148
Lucas14566417
Summit13933327
Stark9193206
Warren841976
Mahoning7530300
Lake710067
Lorain6690106
Clermont593651
Delaware572537
Licking564577
Trumbull5584147
Fairfield554464
Greene538066
Clark5218101
Allen494989
Marion476759
Medina471657
Wood4598107
Miami437568
Pickaway404048
Portage358972
Columbiana357698
Tuscarawas342667
Richland328539
Wayne327394
Mercer296047
Muskingum252510
Hancock245940
Ross244559
Auglaize236435
Darke232560
Erie230268
Putnam229449
Ashtabula228354
Geauga211851
Scioto200616
Union19668
Shelby194017
Lawrence193039
Athens19134
Seneca182919
Belmont170229
Madison163119
Sandusky157729
Preble156521
Huron155519
Defiance144823
Holmes140439
Logan133517
Knox131718
Fulton128726
Jefferson128613
Crawford126817
Washington125227
Ottawa124530
Clinton109115
Williams10799
Ashland107825
Highland103718
Brown10135
Henry101323
Hardin99719
Champaign9825
Van Wert97318
Jackson96212
Fayette92717
Morrow9202
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Perry82912
Adams80313
Pike7661
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