Gun-toting congressman is right. He's no Gabby Giffords

Here's a satirical look at an event that made news this weekend.First-term US Rep. Ralph Norman, R-So...

Posted: Apr 9, 2018 11:44 AM
Updated: Apr 9, 2018 11:44 AM

Here's a satirical look at an event that made news this weekend.

First-term US Rep. Ralph Norman, R-South Carolina, is a tough, vigilant and well-prepared guardian of public security, which he recently demonstrated by pulling out his loaded handgun at a "coffee with constituents" meeting at the Rock Hill Diner in his home district.

He slapped the .38-caliber Smith & Wesson on the table to let the folks in the restaurant know that they were safe from terrorists, active shooters, clumsy busboys and anyone trying to skip out on the lunch tab, assuring them that he would be able to protect them because of his gun.

"Given the scenario that if someone had walked into that diner and began to fire a weapon, I told them I would be able to defend myself and them as well," he said.

"I'm not going to be a Gabby Giffords," explained the heroic and manly Red Stater, comparing himself to the timorous female Democrat from a purple district in Arizona, who had unwisely allowed herself to be shot in the head without returning fire.

And can there be any doubt that Norman would have been able to respond boldly to the shooting, which occurred at a "Congress on the Corner" event outside a Tucson grocery store? Surely he would have been able to draw his pistol, release the safety, assume a SWAT stance, take dead aim and plug the mentally-disturbed shooter, even after taking a bullet himself.

After all, Norman has a South Carolina concealed weapons permit, which means, at the very least, that he obtained it after a rigorous training program -- covering storage practices, liability rules and concealment techniques, upon payment of a $50 fee -- that fully readied him to exchange fire with an assassin packing a 9mm pistol with a 33-round magazine, who was shooting indiscriminately into a crowd. The 19 people hit and six killed that day in 2011 have only themselves to blame for not being as well-armed and well-trained as Norman, who may have once fired as many as 50 rounds at stationary targets to obtain his South Carolina permit.

"I don't mind dying, but whoever shoots me better shoot well, or I'm shooting back," Norman told a local newspaper, drawing on his courageous background in the real estate business he inherited from his father. Next to military or law enforcement experience, which Norman must have absent-mindedly neglected to include in his official biography, a career in property development is easily the best possible preparation for combat in crisis conditions. If you are locked and loaded, and don't mind dying, then the York County Home Builders Association is the right place for you.

It would be absolutely thrilling to see Norman calmly stand his ground amid flying bullets, while taking unerring aim at a rampaging gunman. No duck and cover for him, and no chance that he would end up hitting a cowering bystander. There could be just one question: Would he shoot to kill? Or would he be satisfied by only winging his unfortunate foe? It's an election year, so I'm betting that Norman will come out staunchly in favor of using lethal force at the slightest hint of trouble.

"Mental health, and more importantly, a lack of morality, is the driving force behind this epidemic," Norman told CNN. And having served in the South Carolina legislature for ten years, he can proudly point to his state's standing as 44th in the Union in per capita mental health spending -- while rapidly closing in on 43rd, at less than three bucks per year behind Louisiana.

Following the latest school shooting, Giffords called on Congress to "stand up to the gun lobby and take action to make our communities safer." Norman knows better. "I'm tired of the NRA being blamed," he said. And he is right. What we really need for the schools would be some guns on the cafeteria tables.

So, yes, Ralph Norman got things exactly right. He is no Gabby Giffords.

Indiana Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Cases: 751242

Reported Deaths: 13795
CountyCasesDeaths
Marion1032931788
Lake556911009
Allen41692692
St. Joseph36990565
Hamilton36588417
Elkhart29398461
Tippecanoe22901226
Vanderburgh22556400
Porter19356325
Johnson18471389
Hendricks17682317
Clark13226195
Madison13149344
Vigo12614253
LaPorte12419221
Monroe12207176
Delaware10966198
Howard10321225
Kosciusko9630121
Hancock8576146
Bartholomew8169157
Warrick7860156
Floyd7811180
Grant7242179
Wayne7162201
Boone6966103
Morgan6761141
Dubois6218118
Marshall6209116
Cass6016110
Henry5900110
Dearborn589878
Noble581488
Jackson509076
Shelby501496
Lawrence4742122
Gibson444894
Clinton442355
Harrison441875
DeKalb439885
Montgomery438090
Whitley406543
Huntington402681
Steuben400159
Miami395269
Jasper388054
Knox375991
Putnam372960
Wabash361983
Ripley347170
Adams345555
Jefferson335886
White331953
Daviess3033100
Wells295281
Decatur289992
Greene286885
Fayette284864
Posey273835
LaGrange273072
Scott270156
Clay267148
Washington246036
Randolph244783
Jennings235349
Spencer234531
Starke228058
Fountain220948
Sullivan214643
Owen211858
Fulton202942
Jay200932
Carroll193620
Orange188255
Perry187237
Rush175926
Vermillion174844
Franklin170335
Tipton166246
Parke149416
Pike138234
Blackford136232
Pulaski120647
Newton113936
Brown104243
Crawford102516
Benton101714
Martin91715
Warren84015
Switzerland8148
Union72810
Ohio57911
Unassigned0420

Ohio Coronavirus Cases

Data is updated nightly.

Cases: 1108902

Reported Deaths: 20166
CountyCasesDeaths
Franklin1287491467
Cuyahoga1158082211
Hamilton814091250
Montgomery525571043
Summit484351001
Lucas43359820
Butler39018606
Stark33338929
Lorain25675505
Warren24595303
Mahoning22376603
Lake21211388
Clermont20124253
Delaware18856136
Licking16663222
Fairfield16576204
Trumbull16551482
Medina15612271
Greene15284248
Clark14237306
Wood13292200
Portage13251215
Allen11914239
Richland11607211
Miami10849225
Wayne9146223
Columbiana9034230
Muskingum8906135
Pickaway8664122
Tuscarawas8650250
Marion8642138
Erie8056165
Ashtabula7161179
Hancock6999132
Ross6945161
Geauga6838151
Scioto6534106
Belmont6157174
Union584649
Lawrence5732102
Jefferson5679158
Huron5546122
Sandusky5442126
Darke5420129
Seneca5350128
Washington5320109
Athens523960
Auglaize502187
Mercer487385
Shelby476895
Knox4572112
Madison444366
Ashland435797
Putnam4336103
Defiance432399
Fulton432174
Crawford4040110
Brown402461
Logan387677
Preble3856105
Clinton379166
Ottawa373681
Highland359865
Williams348278
Champaign344859
Guernsey324953
Jackson318254
Perry297350
Morrow291840
Fayette285450
Hardin275365
Henry273467
Holmes2702101
Coshocton269060
Van Wert247264
Adams243256
Pike242835
Gallia240750
Wyandot234556
Hocking220563
Carroll197348
Paulding176542
Meigs148440
Monroe136344
Noble136239
Harrison114138
Morgan109624
Vinton85717
Unassigned03
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